We are able to grow when we have the space to do so. Just like roots of a plant need space to spread out into soil, our lives need space for us to be able to take root, grow and evolve.
Space Leads to Growth
There have been a few seasons of my own life that I look back on and can see this type of growth. All of these seasons were made possible by space created. Sometimes that space was carved out intentionally through getting away or a discipline of reflection. Other times it has been the result of something that happened in my life, some type of transition, planned or unplanned. When new space is created we are often able to grow and thrive in new ways.
One season that stands out happened my freshman year of college. I gave up a scholarship as a D1 athlete and went through a breakup from a 4 year long relationship all within a few months of being away from home for the first time. If I could have opted out of either of these things in the moment, I absolutely would have. This season was hard and lonely and full of grief. But looking back, so much happened in this season that made me who I am today. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
In the space that was created through these two transitions, I was able to try new things and form new relationships. I got to know myself for the first time apart from these identities that had defined me for so many years. This season shaped so much, including how I wanted to spend my time, the type of person I wanted to marry and who I wanted to surround myself with. This season of space created health for me — emotionally, relationally and spiritually.
Space Created
If you are in a season of space that you didn’t ask for, first of all, I am sorry. These seasons are challenging and often feel very lonely (even if we are constantly surrounded by our busyness and the people around us). They can cause us to lose hope and sometimes our sense of who we are. We can use all the things — screens, alcohol, being busy, social media, drugs, comparison, going out, obsessing about body image, striving for it all — to distract ourselves from our hard feelings. We can tend to lash out at others, redirect our pain or even push others away if we don’t work through our grief well, which in turn just causes more stress and loneliness in our lives. Unchecked, we can become bitter and guarded in these seasons.
If you are going through a break up or are struggling with depression or anxiety or are just trying to figure out your next step, find your people and keep them close. Share with others about what you’re going through and utilize the resources you have on campus (counseling, academic advisors, mentors, etc!) to help you navigate these things. And know that most likely, one day, you will look back on this season and be able to see the growth that was happening. It’s never in the moment (let’s be real, being in the mess sucks) but after, that we have fresh eyes to see.
So much of our lives are in the messy middle trying to make our way to the next thing.
Creating Space
If space is not being forced upon you, you can create this space in your life intentionally. Maybe it’s taking a weekend away from the busyness of campus. Or carving out time to journal or pray or do yoga every day. Maybe it’s time each evening to reflect on the day that is ending or starting your morning with a walk in nature. However you choose to create this space is up to you and you can change what this looks like at any time.
Its much more about creating the space than how you choose to create it.
Take a few minutes this week to reflect on seasons of growth in your own life. Did you have space created to see these things happen? How can you incorporate a little space to your busy life this semester to encourage that growth to continue? And please reach out if you are having trouble figuring out how to create space in your busy college life and know I am here cheering you on!
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