As I’ve worked with college students for the past 15 years, I have seen a lot of things change. Social media. Styles. Even the trendiest water bottles. But one thing that remains constant is issues between roommates. It usually starts as something small that goes unaddressed. And as I’m sure you know, this can turn into the biggest cause of stress in your college life very quickly. Here are a few ideas to help bring calm and simplicity into your roommate situation (no matter how many of you there are)!
1.) Be honest.
If something a roommate is doing annoys you, talk about it right away. Maybe they leave dirty dishes to pile up. Or maybe they are cleaning up your dirty dishes that you left out to tackle later? Either way, the longer you choose to not address it, the bigger of a problem it will become. Those dishes will start to feel like a personal attack on who you are and every time you see them your roommate will feel like the most inconsiderate person on the planet. But they will have no idea you feel that way (because how could they?!). Unless you are honest. Talk about it and figure out a compromise you can both agree on.
2.) Set “house rules” together.
I know this feels like something your mom would make you do with your siblings when you weren’t getting along, but hear me out. Defining some things you can all agree to regarding clutter, common areas, borrowing items from one another and having guests over, will solve so many of the issues that are bound to come up when you share a space with your friends. You all grew up in homes that did things differently — agreeing on things together will at least get you on the same page on some of these bigger issues that tend to come up. These can change over time and you can always add to them. It’s most important to just start the conversation!
3.) Divide and conquer.
Write a list of all the things that need to be done around your living space on a weekly basis (taking out garbage, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom etc.) and agree on these together. Once you have that list, divide it up between roommates. You can choose items for a week or a semester, but make sure everyone is on board with what they have. If there is something no one is excited about, either tackle it together or change who is responsible for that task on a regular basis. This will ensure all the important tasks get done and that it is a collective effort, not just one neat freak roommate doing it all (who will eventually end up resenting everyone else for not doing anything — but most likely not saying anything about it).
4.) Have a weekly check in.
This doesn’t have to be formal or a huge deal. Choose a night of the week and have dinner or drinks together. During this time check in on anything important regarding your shared space. This can be a place to talk about chores for the upcoming week, who will buy paper towels next, reminding your roommates about a guest who is visiting next weekend or checking in about rent that’s due on Tuesday. The more normal you make it to talk about issues in your space, the easier it will be to communicate about them when they come up. Because they will come up. Open communication = happy roommates!
It doesn’t take much to get along generally well with your roommates. Don’t be afraid to communicate clearly and avoid dragging others into the issues that happen in your living space (gossip always makes things worse). If things get really challenging, try to focus on what you can agree on or bring a trusted friend or mentor in to help mediate the situation.
Read all our previous posts for more ways to simplify your college life today and reach out if you want to hear about a specific issue here — hello@simplycollege.org.
Subscribe here to receive all things simplicity + college in your inbox!