You Have Permission to Say No

For most of my life I’ve felt bad saying no. I’ve gone to great lengths to keep commitments that went unnoticed by others. I’ve served in leadership roles because I thought no one else would step up to the task. I’ve added too much to my plate because I didn’t want to disappoint someone else. I’ve gone to events I didn’t want to be at because turning down an invitation was not even an option in my mind.

I’ve been stressed and exhausted and overwhelmed because the thought of saying no was too uncomfortable for me. I’ve spent years of my life saying yes, because I didn’t want to let other people down. Can you relate? 

What if we say no to an invitation and the world doesn’t crumble around us? 

But what if there’s a different way? What if we get to choose what we say yes to and be excited about those things? What if saying we aren’t able to commit to something is more freeing than we can imagine? What if we say no to an invitation and the world doesn’t crumble around us? 

You have permission to say no. You do not have to do all the things. You can’t.

In fact, trying to do all the things only “works” for so long before you realize it is not sustainable. College is such a great time to learn how to say no to the excess so you can focus on what matters most to you. There will always be things we have to say yes to — our mental and physical health, the items we choose to prioritize, our academic or work life (unless we want to get bad grades or get fired). But, there is so much we can just opt out of in life and especially in college. If you begin to practice saying no now, it will not just benefit you in the present but long after you graduate.

Say no to one thing (here are some ideas of places to start). Start there. If the world doesn’t stop turning, then do it again. It will get easier, I promise. We’re in this together. 

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