Our priorities will shift over time. It is unavoidable and actually a very healthy thing when this happens. What we come into college caring about will be very different than what we leave college caring about. It’s easy to see this looking at our experience over a 4 year timespan. But as our priorities shift around us, it can be quite challenging in the season.
Think about your freshman self. Now, not all freshmen are exactly the same but chances are your priorities freshman year have something to do with plugging into campus socially and academically. Maybe it is more focused on student orgs to join or on what your major will be, but these are common priorities during that first year.
Contrast that with your senior year. Usually, figuring out what’s next (job, travel or grad school) and bucket list items on campus with your best friends fill most senior priority lists. Yes, grades and orgs still occupy the schedules of most of these seniors and maybe the legacy you are leaving behind, but they aren’t usually a priority in the same way that they used to be.
You don’t need to focus on all the things, just focus well on the things that matter most.
Defining Priorities
A priority is something that is most important to you. It doesn’t mean that other things aren’t important, just that as you look over your life, at this given moment, these things matter the most. When I think about priorities, they are those big category items in our lives. Academics, work, mental health, physical health, your spiritual life, relationships, roles you may have leading, personal development, etc. I would suggest not having more than 2-3 of these that you are focusing on in a given season. When everything is important, nothing is important. Yes, it is hard to pare down and choose what is most important, I know this all too well. But it is absolutely essential to be able to focus on what matters most while also ensuring you don’t have too much on your plate.
Priorities will change. This is a fact that will remain true for the rest of your life. Sometimes they change because we choose for them to change. Focusing on your grades may be an intentional choice after a less than stellar semester academically. Training for a marathon isn’t something that just happens accidentally. But sometimes priorities shift and they can come as a surprise to us. A group of friends we end up getting close to and wanting to create more space for in our lives. A hobby or a sport that we realize we love and brings us joy that we need to build in time for in our schedules.
And sometimes it is outgrowing an activity or identity that used to be significant to us. These priority shifts are a lot harder because we don’t necessarily invite them in. They just kind of happen. And we can spend a lot of our time holding on to what was once important to us instead of looking ahead to what is important to us now. We need to create space to grieve these things that no longer serve us in order to figure out what matters most next.
What Matters Most?
Priorities serve us because they identify what matters to us most. It is the identification of these things that matters — not the actual categories. Those will constantly be in flux as our lives change.
I want to encourage you to figure out your priorities. Right now, in this season. Not who you were in high school or even last semester. Not who you will be after graduation. What matters most to you right now? Once you figure this out, you can align your schedule and commitments around that. Check back on this list on regular basis to help you stay focused. You don’t need to focus on all the things, just focus well on the things that matter most.
When our priorities are defined, our schedules and commitments can have clarity. We can say no to opportunities easily and without guilt because we know what fits with those priorities and what doesn’t. It doesn’t mean these things will always be a no in our schedule, it just means they are a no for right now.
Simplicity helps us create space for what matters most. Simplicity gives us freedom. Freedom to say yes. Freedom to say no. And freedom for ourselves to change throughout the process.
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